


I Want To Keep Doing Gay Shit With You, Man

by houndoom



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Guilt, M/M, matt almost dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 10:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3933295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houndoom/pseuds/houndoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt almost dies and Foggy cries and Matt misses the sun and the stars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want To Keep Doing Gay Shit With You, Man

**Author's Note:**

> I did this instead of study for my japanese final.

Matt had never seen Foggy’s smile but he was sure it looked like the sun. He could tell by the way his heartbeat would slow and ease by like a breeze and how his words were shaped. When Foggy smiled Matt didn’t miss seeing the sky too badly. 

In college there were many sleepless nights where the only thing that kept him going was Foggy’s laugh. They would study together, huddled in their dorm, trying to make one coffee filter last through several pots. Foggy would make jokes about how the coffee was shitty and then quiz Matt on various clauses and statues.

Matt remembers when Foggy first told him that he wanted to go into business together and he smiled and Matt almost swore that he could feel the warmth coming from it. 

“Hang in there, buddy,” Matt heard the smile but still felt cold.

“Foggy, I need you to move back for a second,” Claire’s voice always sounded like a river, steady and strong, crashing when it needed to, “He’s lost a lot of blood.”

Matt knew she was talking about him but couldn’t respond. The floorboards beneath his back felt like sheets of ice. He tried to listen for Foggy’s voice but found he couldn’t hear it over the sound of his heart; trying to beat its way out of his chest, to be closer to Matt. Matt didn’t like hearing Foggy like that.

“Matt, if you don’t pull through this…” Foggy’s voice hitched and was so far away and Matt was so cold, “I’ll kick your ass.”

Matt’s voice was caged in his chest and he tasted copper. 

“Shit…” now he could hear the lump in Foggy’s throat. He wanted to get up and run his hand through Foggy’s hair. His voice was cold and Matt missed the sun more than he had in a long while.

“Alright, Matt,” Claire’s voice rippled again through Matt’s head, “I’m sure you know what’s coming next. Just try to keep breathing.”

He felt Claire’s hands and heard her heart and Foggy’s heart. They were fighting themselves, tearing themselves apart, even though they were already in too much pain to bear. The copper in Matt’s mouth began to taste like bile. His own heartbeat was feeble and it sickened him. Claire’s hands realigned his body and her fingers wove his skin, working in a new lattice of guilt. Claire’s hands didn’t shake. In the corner, Matt heard Foggy scrambling through his pockets.

“Karen? Yeah… Yeah,” Matt heard Foggy try and fail to regain control of his breathing, “It’s… bad,” On the other end, Matt could hear Karen curse.

“Foggy,” Claire was pressing into what felt like a knife wound in his leg, “Help me.”

Matt heard Foggy swallow before saying goodbye to Karen. His heart beat even faster and Matt thought it would give out at any moment.

“This one’s deep. Put on some gloves and apply pressure. I need time to treat his head.”

There was a snap of latex and suddenly Foggy was back and Matt was sad that he couldn’t smell him over the blood. He felt Foggy’s hands tremble on his leg and he knew that Foggy was crying. Claire’s hands were on his head when he heard her say, “I think he’s concussed. Talk to him.”

Foggy let out a sob that raked against Matt like sandpaper. His breathing was ragged and he laughed but his laughter felt like hail, dangerous and hard.

“Remember, around when we first met, how I kept asking you to go to the movies because I kept forgetting you were blind? I always like such an idiot afterwards… But… But you always just shrugged it off, like it was nothing. God, the crap you must have put up with.”

Foggy stopped to sniffle, “Then this one time, in like our junior year, you asked me to go with you to the movies and I thought for a second that at least one of us was crazy,” Foggy laughed and Matt forgot about the needle passing through his skin, “But then you told me about a drive-in theater out east that your dad took you to once. Ha, you never did tell me where you guys got a car from… Jesus, the ride was long and the rental was so expensive, but we made it.”

“Alright, Foggy, I’ll take over the leg wound now, but keep talking to him,” Foggy’s voice grew small again and Matt heard his hands move across his face.

“I had to explain everything that happened to you, but it was great because you brought so much beer and we were so drunk. I don’t even remember what the movie was about,” Foggy laughed again, but it was muffled by his hands, “Like halfway through the movie, I tried to point out how cool the stars looked and I felt like a dick. But then you asked me to tell you what they looked like and Christ if that wasn’t one of the gayest things we’ve ever done… But it was so nice… and… and… I just want to keep doing shit like that with you, man.”

“Foggy, get the bag of peas out of the freezer and wrap it in a towel,” Matt wished for a second that Claire didn’t care so much about his health so that he could keep listening to Foggy. But then the peas were on his head and Claire was stroking his hair.

Claire’s heart was steadier how, but Foggy’s still hurt to listen to. The last thing that Matt remembers is the door clicking and Claire humming.  
-~-~-~-~-~

When Matt woke up he felt the sun on his face and he knew he wasn’t okay because everything felt cold.

At some point, someone must have called him a cab because he was in his apartment in his bed. He could feel his sheets and how his hands glided over them.

He could also hear another heartbeat and his shower on and he tensed and tried to move from his bed. He winced and found he couldn’t put any pressure on his leg for very long and every breath he took felt like needles. He limped to his bathroom door but before he could even touch it, he felt Foggy’s voice. He was singing off key and out of tune and for a second Matt thought that that was what it was like to really look at the stars. He then heard the faucet turn off and Foggy begin to towel off and dress himself. His heartbeat was slow and heavy and Matt felt it rock against his own chest, through the door. He lost himself in the sound and didn’t take note of anything else until the door suddenly opened and Foggy screamed.

“Shit!” Matt heard him inhale sharply, “Matt! Jesus Christ!” Foggy took a step back from him.

“Sorry,” Matt’s own voice crawled from his throat, “I’m, uh, a little confused…”

Foggy sighed and Matt heard each drop of water from his hair crash into the floor, “Well you were really fucked up, and Claire really doesn’t have any sick time left, and you need to rest, and I can’t leave you alone because you’re concussed, and I couldn’t take seeing your blood all over me-”

Foggy started to hyperventilate and sidled past Matt to sit on the sofa. His breathing sounded like high tide.

“I… I thought it was over, Matty,” Matt knew he was crying and his stomach roiled.

“There was so much blood and you weren’t making a sound,” Foggy’s voice fell to the ground and Matt felt the pain in his voice collect on the ground. The floor trembled under its weight.

Foggy sniffed before turning around to look at Matt and Matt hated how his voice sounded so light, “Hey, man, I’m sorry about using your shower without saying anything. Bloodstains are a bitch to get out.” Foggy smiled but his words were misshapen. Matt hated it.

“You should call Claire. She’s still worried about you. Karen, too,” Foggy didn’t hear as Matt walked up behind him. He didn’t even notice when Matt sat down next to him until Matt’s hand was on Foggy’s knee. Foggy’s skin was still slightly damp from the shower.

“Foggy,” Matt’s voice creaked, “I really am sorry.” Foggy laughed again and it felt empty and dead like winter sleet.

“Nah, you’re fine,” Foggy leaned back on the sofa. He put his hand over Matt’s shoulder and squeezed lightly, “Just the perks of having the Daredevil for a friend. Christ, look at me. I’m supposed to be taking care of you, not falling apart.”

The words struck Matt and he sighed and said, “Thank you,” but the words felt cheap.

“No problem,” Foggy withdrew his hand. The seconds went by and Matt heard his alarm go off like a siren but both of them ignored it. Outside the city stretched and opened its eyes.

“I remember that night at the drive-in, you know,” neither of them moved as Matt spoke, “I also don’t remember the movie but I do remember how you talked about the stars. I never really got to see them much as a kid, so hearing you talk about them made me feel as though I had never really seen a star,” Matt paused to clear his throat and he took his hand from Foggy’s knee, “You talked about them like they were a place you’d been to before and all I could think about was how I wanted to go there with you.”

Foggy shifted on the sofa and Matt laughed before saying, “It really was some of the gayest shit.”

At that, Foggy laughed and this time it was like clouds were parting. Matt searched along the sofa until his hand found Foggy’s and he took it and held it tight.

“Foggy, please forgive me,” Matt turned his body to the other man, “You’re the last person I want to be scared or hurt and I hate that I’m the one who made you feel that way.” Matt felt his eyes fill with tears and didn’t even move to wipe them from his face as they fell.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, you’re already in bad shape as it is.” Matt laughed at that mostly because he could hear Foggy’s smile.

“I’ll try not to,” Matt turned away from Foggy again, “But I want to clarify something.”

“What?”

“What did you mean when you said you wanted to keep doing stuff like that with me?”

Foggy groaned, “Wow, I really envisioned this conversation being very different.”

“Foggy, please.”

Foggy sighed with a different weight this time, “Yeah, I meant I want to keep doing gay shit,” he paused and sighed again, “with you.”

His heartbeat was steady and Matt let out a sob of relief, “Me too, Foggy.”

Foggy laughed and Matt felt warmer than the sun could ever make him and Matt smiled.

“Jesus, what a fucking day…” Foggy reached his hand towards Matt’s face and Matt felt it hover an inch away. Matt pushed his face into his hand and winced only slightly when Foggy’s hand grazed his stitches.

“You know, you really shouldn’t blaspheme so often,” Matt smiled and he knew that Foggy didn’t care.

“Yeah, well, I think the high powers can excuse me, given the tumultuous events of the past few hours.”

“I guess so.”

Matt and Foggy decided that Matt shouldn’t go into work that day. Foggy told him to call if he needed anything and at the door he paused when saying goodbye. Matt heard his friend’s heartbeat speed up just a bit before he leaned in and kissed Matt on the cheek.

“See you later, Matt,” and Matt raised his hands and cupped Foggy’s and touched their foreheads together.

“See you,” he whispered. He felt Foggy’s face breakout into a small smile under his hands.


End file.
